July 4th = Fire and Alcohol

Independence day was intended to remind all of the Americans that we succeeded in freeing ourselves from the stupid people with bad teeth all those years ago. Through the ages, we've managed to turn it into a nation-wide party where everyone ingests ethanol in close proximity to fire. We are clearly demonstrating how well we're doing. Sadly, our grossly irresponsible behavior was dulled in comparison to our state and federal governments. But none of you care about that.

Teh Partee
One of my friends held his annual Fourth of July party on July 2nd and I felt obligated to go and perform my shit show. He privately funds his own fireworks show that is easily better than the show put on by the city. I showed up midway through the show, Mega Buddy cup in-hand. This was roughly the contents of the cup -- I call it the Ginny Weasley:

I'm probably underestimating the amount of gin in there. All I know is that by the end of the night I had drank a half liter of it, was puking violently and incapable of walking on my own.

Drunk Dials
I've never liked phones, mainly because I have a habit of destroying them (I had my phone replaced just over a day ago, I don't even have service on it yet, and I've both dropped and thrown it), but also because I hate connectivity [he said as he blogged]. Anyway, after I got all toasty I called two people, one encouraged me to drink more and I blame her for all of my puke, the other was my brother to whom I appeared to open up to a bit too much. This quote from me was his status on facebook the next day:

Honestly. Honestly. Honestly. If I had the choice, I would be bisexual. But I don't have the choice. Ughhhhh I might puke soon. I'm sitting down and oh god I'll call you back bye.

Most of that night is pretty blurry, but I guess Trenton was waiting for me to get off the phone so we could leave when another of our friends shouted out, "Found him!" I was, allegedly, face-planted in the opening of the barn with my ass in the air* and my face and shoulders firmly pressed against the gravel. After finally leaving, I hung my head out of the window for the whole fifteen-minute ride back and, once we got to McDonald's drive through, I puked one last time.

I really don't think anyone was surprised with how this turned out.

*Don't criticize me for the hentai. It's not my fault good songs have backgrounds that are completely inappropriate.

What the Angels Listen To: Recirc

Going back to how much I love Dubstep, I have a collection of favorites on YouTube and I feel it is only fair that I share this with my faithful readers. Here it is:
Filthy Dirty (Like Mexico)

This is not the post I promised within the next week.
On the other hand, if I get too lazy, I will claim this was the post I was talking about. Here's a picture of me shirtless:

Huh, I never realized my nipples are that perky.

Mid-Summer Update

I'd say that I owe you all an apology for not updating in a long-ass time, but I specifically said that something like this would happen already. Instead, I tell you "you're welcome" for the heads up. I'm pretty damn kind.
The lack of update has been for a few reasons - partly from being busy and partly from a lack of muse. In this downtime (hereby referred to as "The Darkness")a friend of mine sent me a motivational and kind of insulting quote from Ira Glass that made me decide a few things. Most relevant to you, my faithful readers, is that I'm making a promise to make at least one new post a month. It's not very often, but it's the minimum frequency I will allow myself. This comes with the promise that each post will be pretty awesome.

Moving On
As I'm typing this, I've noticed that a lot of the helpful things this blog-creator had are now gone, which means I'll have to brush up on my HTML usage. But that's irrelevant.

This summer I started working at a glass factory near my town. It pays well, and I've spent probably 2/3 of what I've earned so far on a house that I'm not living in this summer. I'm excellent at planning ahead. The job isn't that bad, but if there's one thing that will make you realize how important it is to graduate, it's factory work. I'm fine doing this now but if I'm still moving glass in three years I'm going to resort to a life of crime.

What I do, exactly, is this: I take large pieces of glass (6' x 12' at some points, but it can get larger or smaller (that's what he said)) and pick them up with The Manipulator, which everyone calls a hoist and thereby ruins half the fun of using it, and then put it on a line where people make it better, or something. I've had two pretty cool things happen so far. One was that I got to work on windows that will be put into the Freedom Towers, which debatably makes me even more cool than a war vet. I also had the privilege of seeing a large piece of glass shatter on the line. There was a sound comparable to thunder followed by tens of thousands of tiny pieces of glass falling on the floor. I was stoked. No one else was. I'm clearly the only cool person in this whole factory.


Other News
My good friend, Trenton, has put me in charge of his music page, which you all should check out, for his voice is like your favorite tasty beverage, only better and it goes in your ears and not your mouth.

My favorite tasty beverage. Flavor/experience enhanced with Gin.
In all honesty, I haven't touched that page yet, but I will soon. Check back regularly for new songs/information. That is next on my list of "Things I Should Probably Be Doing."


That's all I've got for now. There will be a post in the next week (I swear on your life) about my Fourth of July Weekend. It was pretty messy.