What the Angels Listen To

About a month or two ago, I started listening to a certain genre of music. This type of music has been called "dance music for metal heads" and "dirtier than Hitler's kill to death ratio." For those of you who are already familiar, I am, of course, speaking of Dubstep. Enjoying this particular style of music is like having liquid satin poured down your ear hole. I don't even know what that would look like, but I know what it feels like. It feels like Dubstep.

REASONS WHY


Dubstep has innumerable benefits, which I will enumerate right now:

1. Imagine a rave. Now imagine that rave is even more awesome and everyone, including the bouncers, is tripping out on shrooms and adderall. That's what Dubstep can do.
2. Dubstep has the power to increase your mood and energy. For example, as I walk to and from class, I play my collection that I purchased from Amazon (can be found by clicking this alternately-colored magical series of words) and I'm pretty sure that laser light shows start all over campus.
3. People like me have a distinct need for Dubstep. This is my second night pulling an all-nighter in three days, and see as my friend, "Princess Dye" was about to bail on me, Dubstep would have been my only hope of making it to my 8:15 class.
4. Liquid satin. IN YOUR EAR HOLE.
5. To make things even better, Skrillex, a well known Dubstep DJ, teamed up with Korn to make a song so good that I listened to it 60 times in less than a week. This is that song:

SO GOOD

I've managed not only to get my friends to like Dubstep, but I've also found friends that liked Dubstep before I knew them, like "Queen Bee." This wonderful young lady invited me and a few other friends to a masquerade that featured SIX HOURS OF EAR-SATIN and I was more excited for it than Lindsey Lohan would be in Colombia. Unfortunately, none of us ended up going for various reasons. It's currently my only regret in life. Had I gone, my countenance for the remainder of my life would have been comparable to James Franco's in the following clip from Spiderman 3:

IN CONCLUSION

Dubstep. Cocaine. Liquid satin. James Franco.

To quote Sealab 2021: "It's like a koala crapped a rainbow in my brain!"